Thursday, June 20, 2013

Is it possible to come out of the closet later in life - Part 2

I remember when I first saw 10,000 hits on my blog.  I was amazed.  There are that many people out there who get to a blog like mine?  Wow.  Either there are a lot of really bored people or there are a lot of us out there.  Now I'm over 40,000 which is 4 times as puzzling.

I have a single post that has now surpassed 10,000 hits - "Is it possible to come out of the closet late in life."

Damn there are a lot of us out there.  Us here being those of us who are gay and are/were married to a person of the opposite gender.

Remember the Pink Floyd song, "Is there anybody out there?"  That is what I felt for so very long.  I sat isolated, alone, knowing that I did not fit in, wondering why I had no real attraction to girls and cementing shut all the cracks in the closet door to make sure that I was securely behind the closet door.

The more I get out there the more I realize there are so many more out there too.  There is no reason any of us need stay hidden away.

There are a number of options for us.

There are any of a number of options for us.  I've seen everything from monogamous marriage maintenance with the spouse not knowing  to polyamorous arrangements.  There is no right answer for everyone; there is however a best answer for each of us, even though it may be difficult to negotiate.

Online there are a ton of resources.  I posted some a couple years ago here.  More importantly than the online resources however are the in person ones.  I have a friend I've met with for the past 4-6 weeks just to share the story and the journey.  It makes me realize I am not alone.  That continues to be the danger of the closet - my thinking that I am alone, I am different, I am deviant. I am bad.

There have been a ton of hits on this obscure blog on a post entitled "Is it possible to come out of the closet late in life?"  There are a lot of us out there.

By the way, the answer is yes.  It is possible to come out of the closet late in life. It is possible to survive coming out even when it seems that it might tear me apart.  It is possible to thrive after coming out.

Tomorrow -

  1. Therapy with the goals of making a plan to come out to the kids - C mentioned that last week - and beginning to role play telling C.  Damn - got some heavy lifting to do.  The concussion of a couple weeks ago is still getting in the way, but not enough to derail this.
  2. Perhaps make time to carve out that lunch.

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