Been thinking about the Cape. We did not go last year. The year before we did go. I was severely depressed for the first day or two. Some of it was work. Most of it was that I had come out to C a scant 3 months before hand. It was all new and fresh and depressing. I was not able to be very present to anything at that time. That is one thing that's stayed - I have difficulty being present where I am. Mostly because I am not happy, content with where I am.
While we are not talking about it I think we are both approaching this as potentially our last vacation as a "family" in the traditional sense of the word. If we keep moving as we are it is likely that we will be separated at least in spirit if not physically by next summer. (I should mark this post to be looked at in a year to see how accurate my powers of prediction are!!). That will likely make vacation a little more stressful. My goal is to leave most of that stress behind.
My other goals for vacation:
- Rest
- Spend quality time with the kids
- Spend some quality time with C - with luck avoid anything too deep (yes I'm avoiding and plan to continue for a while)
- Read a good book. I usually pack WAY too many. I think I have bookmarks in 5 or 6
- Go to the beach nearly every day and get into the ocean
- Have at least a half a day alone preferably toward the end of the week once I've already relaxed. Spend time reflecting and being. P-twon if possible to spend time just being.
- Post to the blog using the new program from my phone.
- Meditate at least a few times - I haven't meditated in a while and I miss it; it centered me
- Get to the Vineyard
- Get to an amateur baseball game - go Yarmouth-Dennis Red Sox!!
- Perhaps do some nude yoga - thanks Long Haired Boy for the picture.
12 goals for 7 days - we'll see. And no I won't be doing nude yoga, even though it looks tempting. I think I would get distracted.On the road tomorrow, early. Next stop Cape Cod.
There are times that emotions were so raw that my wife and I would also have to "avoid anything too deep." At those times, any conversation on 'hot button' topics would have been explosive and ultimately damaging to any future agreements.
ReplyDeleteIt may not seem possible now, but time does indeed "heal all wounds." Eighteen months after coming out to her, my wife and I have now emotionally withdrawn (mainly) from our marriage and have "fallen out of love". The benefit is that we are gradually becoming able to have rational discussions about substantive issues involving the kids and separation of our assets.
I like your description of going to P-town and just "being." I have a 10-day work related trip next month to a major city and plan to visit the gay village there, just "being."