Monday, June 20, 2011

Interesting Times

It should be an interesting couple of weeks.  Next week at this time I should be smearing aloe on my skin as I recover from a sunburn.  We will be vacationing on the Cape.  Cape Cod that is.  No matter what I do I seem to manage to burn something - that wonderful Irish skin.  On at least one of the days I should be able to get away by myself which will be a good break.  I can go to Provincetown if I want, but I've done that before on a few occasions - I grew up near the Cape.  I always liked going to P-town; now I know why!! 

When we get back we will have about a week until our wedding anniversary.  Our 25th wedding anniversary.  Yes I was married when I was ten!!  Seriously though the last couple of anniversaries have been a bit of a drag.  What do you give your gay husband for your anniversary - a boyfriend? 

So we haven't done a lot in the two years I have been out to C.  It has been a bit of a depressing day - sort of like I would imagine the birthday of a person you think might be terminally ill - bittersweet.  One might recall all the good times, but that is tempered by the possible news of imminent demise. 

Yesterday, on Father's Day, C said to me about the marriage "I don't have a lot of hope."  Neither do I.  As one emailer said (and thanks for the email) it seems that guilt is mostly what is keeping me here.  It is - guilt and, more positively, obligation.  Not that I should do everything out of obligation, but have have an obligation to consider the well being of C and the kids.

Have to run!!  Off to therapy!! TTFN

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