Monday, June 20, 2011
When we get back we will have about a week until our wedding anniversary. Our 25th wedding anniversary. Yes I was married when I was ten!! Seriously though the last couple of anniversaries have been a bit of a drag. What do you give your gay husband for your anniversary - a boyfriend?
So we haven't done a lot in the two years I have been out to C. It has been a bit of a depressing day - sort of like I would imagine the birthday of a person you think might be terminally ill - bittersweet. One might recall all the good times, but that is tempered by the possible news of imminent demise.
Yesterday, on Father's Day, C said to me about the marriage "I don't have a lot of hope." Neither do I. As one emailer said (and thanks for the email) it seems that guilt is mostly what is keeping me here. It is - guilt and, more positively, obligation. Not that I should do everything out of obligation, but have have an obligation to consider the well being of C and the kids.
Have to run!! Off to therapy!! TTFN