Thursday, May 26, 2011
Eye of the Hurricane?
Job-wise not so good. Both prospects I had did not pan out :-(. But I am not sure that either would have been as gay friendly as I want. So I'm back to the drawing board again.
Things with C are calm. She is holding on for "The Vows". We vowed for better or worse. Some times I think it's the 1950's with the way she says that.
Depression wise things are better and that's a good thing of course. BUT there is this nagging sort of malaise. I'm just out of sorts, out of connection, feeling dis-ease.
C and the kids are going away tonight to her parents house. But I have to work. Tomorrow I will leave work very early and join them. C and I are going to go away for a night without the kids. This is the first time we have done this in a long time. The last time was before I came out to her.
So it should be an interesting weekend. I'm not sure we will do a lot of discussing anything - we can really tend to dance around any substantive issues - not wanting to rock the boat and all. Sort of like being in the eye of a hurricane and hoping that the wind has stopped for good - but it has not.