Went to the shrink on Friday - 50 minutes and a hefty co-pay later I walked out with a script for an antidepressant.  I think I feel some side effects - not sure of the chances that I would feel any this quick especially given he low dose.  We'll see.

Things with C are tense.  She is feeling bereft.  Makes sense given that what she thought was permanent, was until death do us part is no longer that way.  I feel bereft too in the same sense.  But I don't think that we can envision the next step.  In some ways I would love to still live under the same roof - for the sake of the kids and perhaps to maintain an amicable relationship with her.  I know that I am probably being VERY NAIVE in think that that is possible.  It would also help financially.   I have two interviews later this week which, if successful, should improve the financial piece.

Otherwise things are just coasting along.  Trying to do no harm.  Trying to get work done.  At this point it is all rather bland and depressing - sort of fits the weather we are having here.  That is part of what concerns me - the lack of joy and happiness.  Not sure the last time I really felt either deeply.  I'll give the meds a while to work and see what happens there.