Friday, July 1, 2011

Good things come to those who wait?

Ok. So I didn't get to P-town in June. But I'm here on July 1.

Town Hall

Even the ships have Pride here.

Commercial Street.

So that's the good news. I'm sitting here waiting for lunch looking out at the water. Gay rather than straight is the assumption. Or the assumption is that if you're here you don't particularly care what the other person is. Unless you're interested in them.

On that note it's been interesting checking guys out and, unless I'm wildly mistaken, being checked out.

The less than good. So I'm here walking around finally relaxed and C calls. For good reason I should say. But she says where are you now. I say still in P-town. I get the "oh!". I didn't know that's where you were going.

To be honest I don't know that I did say exactly where I was going. And then it comes, "You've shut me out."

She's right and wrong there. I haven't shut here out, but rather continue to live two different lives - a gay one and a straight seeming one. They don't do a lot of talking to each other.

That is, I don't shut C out. I shut down the gay part. That's why I've been anxious and/or depressed since Thursday. The gay part knew it was going to have a chance to get out and had to be restrained.

That is no way to live.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


  1. Jim... Welcome to the incredibly guilty feeling of coming out in mid-life... I have been there, done that, and have the tee shirt...

    If you are still in P-town, forget all else for a bit and enjoy yourself. I had been to P-town a couple times with my wife and kids, but have never enjoyed it more since coming out...

    Have a blast, then go home and settle things up.

    I am adding you to my blogroll and want to hear how your weekend went!


  2. Jim. I know what you are going through. But what I have found is I can compartmentalize it better the more I get out to gay events. Maybe it reinforces the fact that it can be done and I become less anxious. Hang in there it will get better.
    Tom from Cleveland

  3. Of course you were being checked out! Don't doubt that for one second!

    I agree with your last statement, "That is no way to live." When I came out to my parents five months ago and described my desperately unhappy marital situation, my mother said exactly the same thing to me

  4. Thanks Guys! The week was good. P-town was wonderful. Very gay, very touristy, wished I had had a few days there alone (or not so alone).