Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Problems of the closet

So, we're invited as a friend of the family to go to a July 4th party. C, the kids and I go. It's at the house of the father of C's friend. She is the only one besides C to know I'm gay at least as far as I know.

Now the father is a retired career navy guy - commander if I recall correctly (Lt Colonel equivalent). Anyway he's a sweet guy but a bit of a blowhard, racist, chauvinist and homophobe. We're eating dessert and I'm at another table when I overhear him say lesbian marine. Then it goes on for a bit and all agree at that table that they wouldn't want someone light in the loafers serving with them.

I am in the closet to all of these people. They would be shocked if they knew - or so I like to think. Not everyone has been so shocked. But the trouble remains and I sit there in silence.

The second problem of the closet concerns anniversaries.  What do you get for your 25th wedding anniversary? Yes, today, July 5th is C and my 25th wedding anniversary. 

We got a note on Facebook congratulating us for "an exemplary marriage"  Really?  Well in some ways ok, but as C joked - should I give the person a call and let them know what is really going on.  She won't - the closet again.

It seems we may go out to eat tomorrow night - for Indian.  We are hoping to get away at the end of July or in August.  But wtf - what do you get for each other when the husband is gay?  A romantic evening or getaway just seems to miss the point altogether. 

But then it dawned on me.  His and her boyfriends!  That would fit the bill nicely.

Tomorrow should be interesting.  Anniversary.  Back to work at a place I really don't want to be.  My job search is going poorly.  But again the joy is in the journey and I had some of that today.  Off to bed.


  1. "His and her boyfriends!" You're very funny!! Having sense of humour (or least a sense of irony) about the whole thing is helpful, I think.

  2. Hey Buddy Bear - for me it's been necessary to have the sense of humor. It puts it all into perspective. And his and her boyfriends would solve a lot of issues!!

  3. 25 years - congrats (think)! sounds like a stressful situation - but enjoy dinner!

  4. Dinner was very good; thanks Steve