I've been holding my breath a lot recently - both literally and figuratively.
And the depression and thoughts of self harm are raising their lovely heads. Today was overwhelming at least 3-4 times.
It's that damn fear of the unknown. Friday is the first couples therapy in a long time. While I wasn't happy it got moved forward a couple of weeks at first, I am glad now. Another couple of weeks of this would be no fun.
Breathe, breathe, breathe.
It does help to slow down and just breathe deeply fully aware of that breath.
It does not help that I am burnt at work. I've taken maybe a day or too off in 18 months isn't a good plan.
Plan for the next few days:
Make a plan to go visit my mother
Make a plan to take a detour to visit a gay friend who lives near by