I've been under that concrete sidewalk for so long. I've seen the light for quite a while now. But I haven't always moved toward the light. Indeed, sometimes I've been repelled by it. However, now I feel the breeze and I can feel the rain. I have begun to sprout through to new life. What a long strange trip it has been.
Now I know that the struggle is not over. Parts of the next months will be excruciating. Life can be painful, sometimes unfairly so. But I am squarely on the path in a way that I don't think I ever have been before.
The goals for today are:
- Keep breathing - I notice that this is easier now
- Keep my gay contacts going - have coffee tomorrow night with a friend; call another today.
- Keep letting C know where I am/how I'm feeling while treating her with kindness and compassion. In other words proceed with mindfulness.
- Try to focus better at work. Today has been better so far.