I go to see the therapist I mentioned. On the way home I begin to grieve for that little boy of 10-12 that I was. It's raining, I'm driving and need to distract myself. Pink Floyd works :) Particularly appropriately since I am numb - a good night sleep might help!
I've been distracted at everything I've done for the past couple of weeks. Fortunately, nothing major has been messed up.
A step at a time at this point is key. My wife today said it's like our marriage has a disease and might die - I didn't appreciate the analogy, but she goes on that she doesn't mean that TGT is the disease, but that it is that the marriage might die so we have to enjoy each moment we have. Wow. Not sure where to take that. We chat a while longer, she goes to sleep, I come to the computer - so much for a good night sleep.