Friday, May 23, 2014

Good Week

But a tough one all the same.

I've been back at work full time for a couple of weeks now since my stroke.  That seems to be going well.  I seem to be distracted, but that is at least as much a reflection on what is going on personally.

I've been running again.  It's been a while since I ran regularly.  I've begun logging runs.  Time to think about a 5K.  Perhaps the one at Pride.

C and I have had a few tough chats.  A likely direction is that we'll keep the kids where they are and move around ourselves.  Some of the details of this could messy with competing needs.  I have to keep in mind that I need to be firm about things I really need and giving about things I do not, but C does. 

Most of all we're talking dates for telling the kids - early in the first week in June.  The kids start summer break and C needs to go see her dad who is sick.  My therapist has suggested we write down notes about what we'll say to the kids.  With luck we'll go over them this weekend.  Suggestions about what has worked are more than welcome :).  Most important on the list is that we still love the children, this is not their fault and we'll work with them to make this manageable. 

On my part this all feels surreal.  Great joy and great sorrow really can live in the same place at the same time. 

But I've moved on.  For some years I've been stuck in Stage 3 of  "Autobiography in Five Short Chapters" in this post.  I've been culpable for walking down the same street, seeing the same pit and falling in.  But now I've avoided the pit.  And soon I will be on another street.  Perhaps Frost's less traveled path.

1 comment:

  1. Lots of advice for coming out to kids on

    Most kids these days don't have a problem with it, especially if their straight parent is supportive.

    I suggest doing it in a low-key way. If you and/or C make it a big, dramatic announcement the drama of the news might outweigh the words themselves. The kids will take their initial cue for how to respond from how you two behave. What they'll most want to know is how the news will affect them and their lives. Again, I suggest being low-key. Most kids are highly adaptable, especially if they're given time to adjust.