I bailed on a meeting earlier today. A meeting aimed at supporting me. I've been doing that a bit recently. I've bailed on meetings, turned paperwork and contracts in after they were expected. Been distracted at work and inefficient. It's been worse this week since C is off with the kids visiting her parents.
At the same time I am searching for an apartment and beginning to collect things I'll need. I found a dining room table and chairs and leads on apartments on Craigslist. Who knew Craigslist offered such things!!
I've been busy - out each evening for a support sort of meeting with LGBT friends or work (or both). I was sort of planning to stay in tonight, but we'll see.
When I'm home the silence really is deafening. I like silence. I have at times regularly sat in meditation for 20 minutes a day. Something to add to my to do list. But it is different when something is missing - the voices and the presence of C and the kids. And you realize that soon you will miss those voices even more.
Soon you will move away from those voices.
Side note: Google Images is interesting. I searched deafening silence and got a number of images like the above. But one of the images was the one below. It is true. And right now it is no easier that I have decided. But I believe that it will become easier. Indeed it is easier in that now I have a direction. It's impossible to know how to get to where you are going if you don't know where you are going.
Back from eating and to work.