Thursday, June 12, 2014

Deafening Silence

I bailed on a meeting earlier today.  A meeting aimed at supporting me.  I've been doing that a bit recently.  I've bailed on meetings, turned paperwork and contracts in after they were expected.  Been distracted at work and inefficient.  It's been worse this week since C is off with the kids visiting her parents. 

At the same time I am searching for an apartment and beginning to collect things I'll need.  I found a dining room table and chairs and leads on apartments on Craigslist.  Who knew Craigslist offered such things!!

I've been busy - out each evening for a support sort of meeting with LGBT friends or work (or both).  I was sort of planning to stay in tonight, but we'll see. 

When I'm home the silence really is deafening.  I like silence.  I have at times regularly sat in meditation for 20 minutes a day.  Something to add to my to do list.  But it is different when something is missing - the voices and the presence of C and the kids.  And you realize that soon you will miss those voices even more. 

Soon you will move away from those voices. 

Side note:  Google Images is interesting.  I searched deafening silence and got a number of images like the above.  But one of the images was the one below.  It is true.  And right now it is no easier that I have decided.  But I believe that it will become easier.  Indeed it is easier in that now I have a direction.  It's impossible to know how to get to where you are going if you don't know where you are going.

Back from eating and to work.

No comments:

Post a Comment