And the answer is (or was) stagnant

It's been and interesting time.  I wonder if the concussion I got last year had longer lasting affects than I thought.  I've been stagnating on decision making for the last few 6 months.  The stagnation is now over.

The last couple of months have been particularly interesting.  At the end of February of this year I suffered a stroke.  The I have recovered from the stroke amazingly well.  I've returned to work full time as of yesterday.  I really have recovered well.

I offer the above because my symptom was only sudden trouble speaking - I didn't know there was a problem for hours.  I thought I was tired until I saw a friend who is a nurse.  Most folks in a similar situation are not so lucky.  This article in the Guardian showed me how lucky I am.

I've been stressed for a long time, of course.  TGT or rather suppressing TGT has caused a lot of stress.  As a result C and I had a therapy appointment on Gay Day (the anniversary of me coming out to C and a day we've said we'll go out for Indian food).  Well after therapy we did indeed go for Indian.  We came to the conclusion that what we are doing is not working.

The plan - 

• Get continued support for ourselves
• Talk with the kids - possibly as early as the first week in June once kids are out of school
• Physically separate 
• Likely this summer
• We're discussing possible scenarios that will work for us

So while the answer I posed 7 months ago in my last post was stagnant - it no longer is stagnant.  Sort of like a log jam breaking.
Feelings are all over the map.  I won't presume to talk of C's feelings.  But I've run the gamut from excited to terrified to depressed to contented.  The most steady feeling is of the inevitability of this.