tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831665849893948834.post8921804220379616125..comments2021-05-29T10:17:07.405-04:00Comments on What a long strange trip: Kids and school and insecurityJimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15880303202553478598noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831665849893948834.post-77533018503359552052011-09-08T11:09:03.206-04:002011-09-08T11:09:03.206-04:00Two lives - I think what I was doing was stating t...Two lives - I think what I was doing was stating the possibilities and then showing why they don't seem to work. Option 1 open marriage is ruled out; option 2 staying together and monogamous hasn't worked for me thus far. But you've hit it I think I don't KNOW at this point. Yes C is fine with me being out and faithful. And there are a good number of people at this point who do know.<br /><br />Buddy Bear - as always thanks. I didn't get to sit zen this morning. Instead I had an EMG for my pain/numbness issues. It was a painful test and has caused me to tense up. MRI tonight - fun, fun, fun!!Jimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15880303202553478598noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831665849893948834.post-39646818618107057962011-09-07T22:50:06.498-04:002011-09-07T22:50:06.498-04:00I think your "next steps" list is fantas...I think your "next steps" list is fantastic! Well done!<br /><br />Although the path ahead was so uncertain, I felt that once I started this journey, it was impossible to go back. It takes courage to push ahead; at some points, I was scared sh*tless, but there was no other option.<br /><br />As to the effect of stress on your health: join the club! I've been suffering from chest pains (EKG was clear), stress induced asthma and my earlier spinal problem was triggered by muscular stress / tension / spasms. Because our separation / divorce is proceeding fairly amicably, these symptoms are easing somewhat. These health problems give me a greater urgency to end my marriage and start my new life.Buddy Bearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18052407067718899985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831665849893948834.post-92091823419807755602011-09-07T13:53:41.355-04:002011-09-07T13:53:41.355-04:00Perhaps I am dense but I don't see much differ...Perhaps I am dense but I don't see much difference between option one and option two. It appears that option two is to essentially stay hidden in the closet but option one is to be "out" to some degree. No sex with men in either case.<br /><br />If the two options are the same then aren't you in a binary situation where the critical question is whether you have sex with men or not? If you KNOW you can't live another 40 years like that, then yes, divorce is inevitable. If you think therapy or having gay friends or porn or some combination of those things could be satisfying enough then divorce is not inevitable. Lots of gay married men remain faithful (many Mormons it seems) and "mostly" their marriages work. The thing I always wonder about is the wife. Have you discussed whether she'd be happy if you were somewhat "out" yet faithful?TwoLiveshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05801244463128618355noreply@blogger.com